so, uh...chaos or smoke? or both?

there are so many misunderstandings whizzing by my overly sensitive dome right now it is making me a bit ill.
i am doing my best to remain positive and remember why i have made the choices i have, but nothing is quite coming to fruition. or even pretending it may at some point.
i am intentionally cryptic here because it seems everything in my life fits this scenario right now. it is not necessary to specify. sometimes this blog is a good place for this "let it out" sort of writing. or apparently is has become such today. huh?
school/work, friendships, other sorts of relationships, child care logistics, and the like.
if i know you, you are a part of one these groups, & there might be something you could tell me that would help me make sense of something, please do! anything! i fully refute the traditional masculine idea of not asking for help. i am one person who can only stand to gain from listening to the perspectives of others, so let it rip!
full explanations or a simple yes/no will suffice. if there is pain involved, bring it! just bring it soon please, so i can get out of this haze.
merci!

in another's words

and in a harmonious voice she asked the sky:
is it possible to have true guy friends?
why do they always have to get sprung on me?
so they think i'm atractive, and i'm single, why should this have to consistently change the relationship?
she wondered, does everyone feel this way, or is it just me?
why should it be my job to make relationship dynamics with friends clear?
can't i just enjoy being single, and having a lot of good friends?
what is it about my interactions with men that makes them think i am interested in more than friendship?
why am i wasting my time thinking about something that is entirely someone elses problem?
i have far more important things to take up my time. like remodeling my bathroom.

& they make shapes

concerned with linearity
this can not be the only way we understand things
sequences of logable numbers, attached ideas and well lit concepts
set in claustrophobic spaces with specific cut outs
feeling and a cut out
can humyns understand the significance of these licks
the bolts that bind
pieces licensed to a past that has passed
tethers held by teeth hardy cast
may be as perennial as perceived
likely a discretionary perception in a faint wind