not a hottub

i was baptised protestant, and it felt similar to stepping in my own shit. to be fair i remeber the shit and learned from it. camping and forest days can give such glowing gifts. 

trying harder than

 i reaL needed a deck shuffle a while back, and the medicine did not work. not even a little. i became super high, and the next day i mostly pretended to feel better than before. i was/am still the same amount of wintEr sick. 

maybe iT was too many pains of glass to smash, or i didn't let Go enough, or another thing. maybe different medicine is in order? like sunshine. or acid. or bOth.

or winter is just harder than medicines.