commemorative mugs for being human, rather than another animal

"i think they (the disembodies other) should only give allergies to the villains in Jane Austin novels and telenovelas. the rest of us should get coupons for free hair cuts and commemorative mugs for playing. this is my official opinion" -K.W.

the mug might work like a mood ring, becoming what the receiver feels is right once they handle it. the mug could be the larger piece of something you have always carried around, never quite sure what it was. possibly there is an oligarchically selected committee that votes on the most thoughtful and nostalgic mug shape and design. sentience feels difficult sometimes, and since humans sometimes assume we are the only animals that have it as a sense of the world we will need quite a proportionate mug.

to be accounted for: size, aesthetic, magical prowess, colorway, relevant incantations, refill quota, lip interaction, grip, buoyancy, packaging (this is an additional list), transparency, ability to remind the owner of the life spent earning it, durability, willingness to say "you did the best you could", shareability, x-ray-ability, proper storage techniques (a further additional list), insulative property, pickle capacity, and a host of less urgent variables.

and when should the mug be presented? post retirement from a work-thing seems pedestrian, to allow time to enjoy it before you (the royal you) find - out - if - you - were - right.
attaching the mug to employment could be painful for some.
appearing casually like the second circle in Silverstein's "The Missing Piece Meets The Big O" may allow for a successful integration. the mug might appear along side you when you are being your own authentic and beautiful self, feeling need for nothing. the mug earns love, and an appropriate amount of affectionate ridicule moving forward.

if you (royal) do not have hair, do you get coupons for cranial massage?