f8%dm3is:k = ?

so we don't just procreate, eh?
[in the culture i live in, at the time i am living in it, relationships are quantified based on a variety of criteria including: level of physical activity, shared ancestry, shared DNA, amount of time spent together, as well as many other quantifiable indicators.]

"intimate relationships", for folks born into the generation I was, are often initiated and perpetuated/bolstered through a variety of forms of sexual activity. all of mine have been. i recently discussed this point with a good friend, and we came to the conclusion that he simply didn't like this story, but could not deny it. all of the people either of us have been acquainted with, on a level which facilitated conversations concerning their relationships and sexual activities, fit into this generalization. clearly there are exceptions to this umbrella statement, but i am concerned only with the trend of a majority population of the generation.
as physical or intellectual attraction is the genesis of most "intimate relationships" it seems plausible that a more physical manifestation of that attraction would be the next-first-step. "the glue that bonds us" one might say. so what happens when the glue is gone?

in my parents generation, and even more-so those before, there was a hyper-real picture of what a person's life is supposed to become. the "american dream" if you will. much of the hyper-real (or fantasy driven) value system attached to this "dream" was rooted in patriarchal-monotheistic religious sets of values (coupled with a genuine fear of procreation). previous cultures created their "family" unit of social integration by means of arranged marriage, polygamous, polyamorous and endless other forms of "relationship" creating styles, as a means of integrating "families" and continuing the homo-sapien species. as our society is becoming increasingly secular (if only on the surface and outside of major politics) those values are of slowly declining importance. however, religion is only one of several factors affecting the shift in the paradigms concerning relationship building (nearly all of these factors were based on power, dominance, and control). possibly of greater importance is the advent of the incredibly magical cure, birth control. blessed is thy name! birth control saves lives! where the hell is the male version already?

so what happens when the glue is gone? if the relationship is bonded by sex, the sex is lacking, time for new sex? who knows? time for the relinquishment of monogamous controls and restrictions? possibly. time to find sex some place else while you find a new bonding agent for the relationship which was entirely based on sex from its inception? possibly. time to stop making a connection between sex and love? shouldn't that notion have come first? was the reason for attaching emotions to sex because it traditionally would have created a child and eventually a family? very possibly. do we have sex to create children and families in this generation?

postscript: i realize that there is a great deal of historical-context and fact missing from this little blog, but i feel that my million-strong reader base is intelligent and has no desire to read what they already know. furthermore, this rant is only mine. everyone deserves a place where they can feel confident.

7th grade "junior high"

it's not quite a hole, but it is pretty large.
more intentional, like an incision.
i can't see the bottom, which indicates that it has quite a depth.
not to make too much sense of it. it is just a space with nothing in it.
it has no time precedence, no non-spuriousness, and is on no level correlated.

there is however a thesis-antithesis-synthesis triad apparent in this space.
it may have began like a window: tectonic plate, rock shard, pebble, sand, and the melt.
or a glass of gin: grain, juniper berries, distillery, cask, bottle, frozen water, throat.
yes, gin is closer. i like the amalgamation essence.
it's definitely a creole.

what the fuck.
did it not just explain to me that it makes no empirical sense?
must it?
this may require more thought.
not everything is empirically describable.
some shit is just that.

think of england

as a young person i looked up to my elders and longed to be thought of as an adult. thought people would take me more seriously. as an adult i regularly look back and wish i could re-experience parts of my childhood. it's a simple concept that comes up all too often.
i live in a society which has no formal "right of passage" for either gender. because it is not pathetic enough to assume there are only two genders! we often treat women like they are children, devaluing their millions of essential contributions to society, until they are at a life stage where they are no longer able to produce offspring (menopause). after this stage the cultural norm is to devalue women ever more by making them appear to be crazy in everything they say and do. i call bullshit! women are the only reason anything happens for any of us, and we should all have the utmost respect for them. this pagan is pissed!
i'm not sure what the right of passage is for men, but there is a point in their young lives when they gain an unearned respect which only grows with age. men in modern western cultures have an ascribed status of power and control which they have no need to even acknowledge. most men go through their entire lives using their unearned power to its fullest extent and never thinking of why the power dynamic exists. on this i also call bullshit! this pagan is pissed! there is no plausible reason a person should be able to control others, and particularly not through means of power they don't even take the time to understand.
i realize that this is also a simple idea, but i needed to vent and have no illusion that anyone actually reads this stream of consciousness anyway. nor should they i suppose.
the juice of juniper has kissed me once again, and i enjoyed every morsel of that embrace. FUCK OFF DOMINANCE!!!

"look at my hands" J.K.S.

someone called me charming the other day. what an incredibly endearing and uplifting thing to say to someone. honestly, it felt like a unicorn-laden-rainbow-enema for my soul.
i do not interact with any large number of people, and choose to place a weighty amount of importance on the folks i do get a chance to spend my time with. not sure if i'v written this before but as people go i'm quite an awkward one. for quick example, as a wee lad, i asked the person i went on my first date with if i could hold her hand while viewing a film. shortly there after she dumped me because i was too prude for her taste.
i believe my friend simply flung this compliment in mid sentence and has no idea what affect it had on me, but it will make my week and some.
i'm painfully awkward for a good reason. it has forced me to make intense relationships with the folks i find comfort with. thanks amigo!

life should be a series hugs

a bath is just like a hug, only it touches you entire outer self, a small piece of the inner, and there are no bony jabs or questioned intentions. yes my friends, a bath is a full body hug. this sentence should be spoken in a monotone, with a pitch drop for the last two syllables. and no freud, it has nothing to do with my family and their or my sexual desires. who gave that guy so much credit in the first place?

i've been taking a bath nearly ever other day this winter. not because i don't care about wasting water, and not because i am soiled from the long days toil. there is nothing even remotely utilitarian about this bathing I'm into.
if everyone has a vice, this is currently mine. nothing feels better than a crazy hot bunch of water along with a good book. other than a crazy hot bunch of water, a great book and a glass of bubbles.

I bath because it's a bloody frigid winter, because i drink an awful lot otherwise, because it feels like it is mine, because i am awkward, because i have a lot of homework, the train is late, the check was mailed, relationships become sower, because seeds don't always catch on, because people don't always mean the same thing, and most of all because it feels better than anything else i do just now.

and another thing. what is this business that my skin is somehow water proof and simultaneously composed of 70% H2O. i officially choose not to believe that line any longer. what do these physical (hard) scientists know about the workings of the world anyhow? social "soft" and fuzzy) sciences are where it's at, and i am calling this waterproof story a social construction of reality. those bath molecules are intermingling with my molecules and having a circus for the tub.

could someone please bring me a towel?