were it my choice, i would be a camp fire

 the best ways i know time passing: 
time in the forest, in the sun, in warm oceans, in cafes without english, in college classes, with particular friends, in breath gulping workouts, first entering an unfamiliar library, cooking meals with or for loved people, anonymously watching life happen, when gravity feels less persistent, without a deadline, crammed with the smell of newly blossomed plants, free of leaders and genuflectors alike, with tastes that remember, among animals that make it feel like there is more blood, in quiet, when the ache shows me what it wants or what i want, when power happens on all sides the same, when birds can be seen or heard, when buildings are too far away, when it is too dirty for you and just right for me, near the desert, when i get scared, while the duff is drying, when rivers are louder than thinking, as friends are asleep at camp, when fires remind me of love, when music reminds me that people can be really good, looking at art that makes my thoughts reverse, hearing rocks clang together, feeling sex in every cell, drinking lovingly brewed coffee, without too many clouds, when i have given everything i can and want to give more, hugging, building things with tools i don't yet understand, writing, sitting in trees, recognizing contributions, learning about species i don't yet understand, driving on ice, being hungry, listening in a open plaza, smelling outdoor summer festivals, with mulled wine, dancing, filled with thoughts of lost friends, pondering geometrics, with few numbers or codifications, listening to stories, seeing movements of animals and plants under water, creating bad haircuts, with my back against a tree, as toes fill with mud, when things taste like gravy, when i lose control of most things, as the vision i know becomes distorted, while grey hair grows and grows, holding off judgement to search for other truth, adding wood to a campfire, aimlessly traveling, writing, the few times annually when it feels like the words "best" or "good" may be internally generated, with warm or dissonant tones, deconstructing nearly anything, believing, being honest when it hurts, when i should shower and don't, when the clouds break, when someone tells me the hard thing they want to say, mosquitos being eaten by birds, without traction, listening to mechanisms do their jobs, touching cactus,